tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post5812476535135864871..comments2024-03-14T19:47:17.502-04:00Comments on Unwritten: F is for...The Finder by Tricia KristufekMystihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02147640629724678243noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-67805024672879577152012-05-05T20:00:33.810-04:002012-05-05T20:00:33.810-04:00"I think a mystery/detective story (which is ..."I think a mystery/detective story (which is how you're touting this) really shouldn't be fluffy light but a female protagonist can do the swishy skirt, strappy sandals light and airy walk through the plot if you like and then it's just HER instead of the plot."<br /><br />Somehow, I don't think Frank will look good in lipstick... I don't think I'm up for a crossdresser as my lead character :)tkristufekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04337025993913346142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-89746249760935455622012-05-05T12:06:39.340-04:002012-05-05T12:06:39.340-04:00Thanks for your feedback Webbiegirl. I hope Tricia...Thanks for your feedback Webbiegirl. I hope Tricia continues to work on this, and I'm sure she'll use all these comments constructively. Have a great weekend!Mystihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02147640629724678243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-30432849038955684292012-05-05T10:57:43.394-04:002012-05-05T10:57:43.394-04:00Oh, you're kidding, right? I mean you have to ...Oh, you're kidding, right? I mean you have to be kidding because you totally ripped off the "fluff" style and mood of that TV show. It's a spinoff show from the more-successful BONES franchise. It's not a very successful spinoff so far; maybe it'll get better but I've given up watching it.<br /><br />So my reaction is both good and bad.<br /><br />I was thinking this was a fun enough fluff piece (good) until it turned cartoon-style here (bad):<br /><br /><i>Look, I’ll ask around. But that’s it. I can’t believe I’m agreeing to do even that—oof!” All the air rushed out of my chest as Joe leapt across the desk, knocked me, him and the chair over, Joe landing on top of the pile. “Joe, I can’t breathe.”</i><br /><br />Leapt across the table? Really? You envision this guy actually "leaping" over and across a table? Yep, that's when it went from fluff to cartoon for me. If it were a whole book with stuff like this, I'd put it down, sorry to say. Choreography in a mystery/detective novel of all things really has to work and NOT be Roger Rabbitt style.<br /><br />I know why everyone likes it though: <br /><br />(a) As I said it's a nice fluff piece, easy reading, light and not too serious. Far more importantly, though, is <br /><br />(b) You have some great characterizations here. <br /><br />You just need a worthy plot to put them in! Don't shy away from writing a substantive mystery or solid plot. It's one thing to make a story "light and airy" and another to make "fluffy light." <br /><br />I think a mystery/detective story (which is how you're touting this) really shouldn't be fluffy light but a female protagonist can do the swishy skirt, strappy sandals light and airy walk through the plot if you like and then it's just HER instead of the plot.Webbiegrrl Writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16585739648523183167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-40443142862040002162012-04-07T21:11:34.988-04:002012-04-07T21:11:34.988-04:00Yeah, seems I live under a rock and don't watc...Yeah, seems I live under a rock and don't watch enough tv. The name can change, of course, if I finish it. And it seems that the intro went over well enough I shouldn't put off finishing it. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-27582293838782525212012-04-07T18:44:54.265-04:002012-04-07T18:44:54.265-04:00google "the finder" - american televisio...google "the finder" - american television series. It's somewhat based on "The Locator" series of two books written by Richard Greener. Main character (the finder) is Walter - as the result of a Iraq war injury, he's become this master finder guy - obsessed with any job he takes on until he find the object - or person. <br /><br />Your tale, obviously, takes the idea onto a different track. I would love to read a completed work from you. I really enjoyed the writing in this post.judysnwnoteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17902764873285009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-66467712760026633662012-04-07T13:38:38.421-04:002012-04-07T13:38:38.421-04:00Interesting Blog, Tricia. Always good to meet a fe...Interesting Blog, Tricia. Always good to meet a fellow animal lover :)Tara Fox Hallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01754949710437719259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-37379306562973533502012-04-07T08:52:07.657-04:002012-04-07T08:52:07.657-04:00That is great, Tricia! Looks like the beginning of...That is great, Tricia! Looks like the beginning of a series.Bill Talcotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18222989077573223392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-67782702707364382082012-04-07T00:28:32.618-04:002012-04-07T00:28:32.618-04:00I want more. This was excellent. I'm just A ...I want more. This was excellent. I'm just A to Z-ing it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10474427967799515034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-48954261726658774522012-04-06T15:34:58.148-04:002012-04-06T15:34:58.148-04:00There ya go Tricia - it's like 6 more people a...There ya go Tricia - it's like 6 more people all waiting for your story to play out.<br /><br />So, enough of the tease - We Demand MORE! :)grrouchiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03619493798073601300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-70718713244890408172012-04-06T15:34:04.318-04:002012-04-06T15:34:04.318-04:00Judy - I did not! I didn't know that was a TV ...Judy - I did not! I didn't know that was a TV show. Hm, wonder how that went? :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-27654844626586574692012-04-06T14:50:43.062-04:002012-04-06T14:50:43.062-04:00Very enjoyable writing style - the story reminds m...Very enjoyable writing style - the story reminds me of the television show by the same name -- did you write the script :)judysnwnoteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17902764873285009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-66673941739555010122012-04-06T14:18:18.100-04:002012-04-06T14:18:18.100-04:00Wow! I am so intrigued! I do hope you keep going w...Wow! I am so intrigued! I do hope you keep going with this and write a full novel! I would totally read it :)<br /><br />Ana<br />http://book-spark.blogspot.com/anaavuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10584320971038320520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-35803112105525290062012-04-06T13:52:32.530-04:002012-04-06T13:52:32.530-04:00Thanks so much! I really think there's a whole...Thanks so much! I really think there's a whole story here. Now I just have to write it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-48063476375768258412012-04-06T11:54:42.571-04:002012-04-06T11:54:42.571-04:00F is for Fantastic! I hope you don't mind that...F is for Fantastic! I hope you don't mind that I picked you for the One Lovely Blog Award!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-87903196691578569122012-04-06T11:29:05.267-04:002012-04-06T11:29:05.267-04:00Yep. Gifted editor AND writer. I loved this snip...Yep. Gifted editor AND writer. I loved this snippet.<br /><br />SplitterSplitter's Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05730691188111394478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190451394398154097.post-85399272824989614672012-04-06T08:50:17.088-04:002012-04-06T08:50:17.088-04:00Intriguing, I definitely want to know more! Hope ...Intriguing, I definitely want to know more! Hope you continue this story, Tricia, as the except has left all kinds of questions in my mind!Paula Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10040623635956769807noreply@blogger.com