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A very long time ago, there once was a land called Goblindom hidden behind a magic barrier to protect its inhabitants from mankind. Man’s ancestors the humins lived there quietly alongside wyverns, griffins, trolls, witches and wizards as well as woods, mountain and plains goblins, ravens, eagles and many more creatures.
This anthology is a collection of thirty tales, which I have translated from goblin into English thanks to Globular Van der Graff, a friendly southern woods goblin who told them to me not long ago. They are not my tales, they are his, hence the title – Globular Van der Graff’s “Goblin Tales for Adults”.
Welcome back, Jack! The first time you were here last March, you had recently published your first novel, Onet's Tale with a small press. Then, you made the decision to self-publish. I think lots of writers are on the fence about the issue of how to publish. Can you tell us the positives and negatives of making that move?
Hi Mysti, The positives far outweigh the negatives. You decide what story you will publish and when, instead of having to wait until your publisher is ready. You decide what form the story will be published in, in my case – ebook. You decide what the cover will be. You decide where your work will be made available. I could go on, but I won’t.
Let's shift right into the birth of Goblindom. What triggered this series of goblin tales?
To be honest with you, I’m not really sure. The idea of a friendly goblin slowly materialized in my mind halfway through last year, the rest you know.
Glob, his brothers, and a certain lisping raven absolutely come to life in these tales. Can you list the main characters and tell my curious readers a little about them?
Certainly – they are:
Globular Van der Graff (Glob), Eponymous Tringthicky (Mous), Makepeace Terranova (Make), Byzantine Du Lac (Byz), Neopol Stranglethigh (Neo) and Bejuss, the one eyed lisping raven with the twisted beak.
Glob is the long suffering, much put upon older goblin and leader of the brothers. Make is the friendly, normally laid back, pipe smoking one. Mous is the accident prone member of the household who is always squabbling with his best friend Make. Byz is the youngest. He is a gentle simpleton, easily distracted by a pretty flower, or anything which takes his fancy. Neo is a very grumpy, short tempered, cross-eyed individual with a predilection for hitting anyone who annoys him on the head with his club. Lastly, we come to my personal favourite – Bejuss, the one eyed lisping raven with the twisted beak. I absolutely had a ball writing his two adventures “I Juth Want One Night’th Thleep”, and “Enter Gerald the Egg”.
Your other works have been in the sci-fi genre, but this one is decidedly fantasy. Did you find the switch to be challenging, fun, or both? Do you think you'll ever write in the fantasy genre again?
Fun, pure and simple Mysti - as for whether or not I write another, it all depends on how well Glob’s Tales are received.
It's random question time! If you could own any animal, real or imaginary, as a pet, what would it be and why?
Heh – a one eyed lisping raven with a twisted beak, what else. I love all kinds of birds. During my lifetime I’ve had all kinds of birds for pets.
Pretty please with sugar on top, give us an excerpt from Globular Van der Graff's Goblin Tales for Adults!
Here is a typical scene inside the goblin brother’s household for you:
Make tugged at the first willow bark boot so hard that when it finally came free, he toppled backwards knocking over the table and stools, covering himself in the fetid pile of grass that fell out of the boot. All goblins use dry grass, or straw, to line their boots for comfort and warmth. When he removed Neo’s remaining boot, the sulphurous stench of unwashed feet and stinking grass filled the tiny room making everyone feel ill. The smell was so disgusting that they all pinched their noses. Poor Bejuss fell off his perch once more when the smell wafted in his direction. To escape the stench, he rapidly buried his head in the sweet grass lining the bottom of his cage. No one dare complain. At one time or another, everyone had experienced the pain of Neo’s club on their heads – even Glob.
From the sweet smelling depths of the fresh grass in the witch cage Bejuss lisped loudly. “Foul thtinking murder! Rarrk – whothe murdered a baby birdy thtill in it’th egg?”
His alarm cry broke the uneasy silence. Everyone, with the exception of Neo, laughed so much that tears flowed down their leathery goblin faces. Needless to say, the evening meal of dried fish, watercress, wild onion, mint and honeycomb, washed down with freshly brewed mead, was consumed in enforced silence. Neo angrily glared cross eyed at each of his brothers in turn, as they tried hard to stifle outright laughter between mouthfuls, defying them to say just one word out of place.
Finally, can you give us any hints as to what you have in the works next?
I’m researching for another sci-fi tale – a long term project. Of course I could easily be persuaded to write some more goblin tales.
Thank you so much, Jack, for stopping by again. I wish Glob & Co. much success!
For more about Jack, visit his blog: http://akhen1khan2.blogspot.com/
To see the rest of his works, visit his Amazon page: