Another excerpt from "A Ranger's Tale"

Chapter 3

Caliphany

Prompt as ever, Sir Malchior stood just inside the door of the preparation room in the manor’s basement. Arms crossed, he glared at me over his spectacles. He had a prominent nose and long, brown hair so dark, it was almost black. I never recalled him smiling and thought his face might break if he tried.

“You are ten minutes late, Lady Caliphany. My time is precious. Shall we get on with this?”

I took a deep breath and stepped onto the dais, mumbling all the way. “You are five hundred years old. What’s the rush?”

Sir Malchior took his seat and raised his head from the scroll he studied. He pushed up his spectacles. “What was that?”

“Nothing. I’m ready.”

“Very well.” He narrowed his eyes and studied my face. “Are you quite all right?”

“I-I’m fine.”

He shrugged. “Let’s begin.”

My hands shook from the near-kidnapping. But I steadied them the best I could, closed my eyes, and drew from reservoirs of concentration deep in my mind’s recesses. A tiny flame appeared in my palm. The fire never burned anymore, but merely tickled. It had taken me some seventy-five years to get to this point, from when I first joined the academy. My father was counting on me to succeed.

I began to rehearse the words I would use to present my dissertation. “Fire, one of the four primary elements, instrumental in both destruction and creation, is not one single entity, but consists of four distinct components. I will now show you each of these components as I separate them from the mother flame.”

The flame grew larger and brighter, a flickering mixture of yellow, red, white, and blue in my palm. I glanced at Sir Malchior, who watched from his seat in the small auditorium. I lifted my other hand, palm up, to hover beside the first hand. Concentrate, Caliphany. Concentrate. Four metal stands sat on the bench before me, waiting for each component.

“The first component.” I carefully enunciated every word in the spell. “Pyronea icterica.”

Pure yellow fire jumped from the mother flame to my empty hand. I gently deposited it on the first stand. Sir Malchior scribbled some notes. He gestured for me to continue.

“The second component, pyronea ruberica.” I separated out a bright red flame and placed it on the second stand.

“The third component, pyronea albidica.” A stunning white flame leapt from the shrinking mother flame into my empty hand. I placed it on the third stand.

Sir Malchior scribbled again. The nearly perfect tear-shaped flames danced on their stands in front of me. Only one more—the blue flame remaining in my palm.

I continued, with unexpected confidence lacing my words. “And now the hottest component of all, pyronea azurica.” This was the part where I would show off, surprising Sir Malchior when I bounced the flame from one hand to the other, making it leap to the last platform.

The flame leapt to my other hand, but then my mind lost its focus. Unwanted visions of those brutes on the dock flashed before my eyes. I imagined their hands upon me, and could barely resist the impulse to rub their lingering stench from my face. I realized everything was falling apart when I finally pushed aside the memory of those green eyes.

Galadin, his name was Galadin.

The blue flame jumped from my hand to the bench, flared and projected itself directly toward Sir Malchior, who raised his head just in time to notice. His eyes flew wide open; he screamed and ducked. The flame hit the stone wall behind him and shook the room. The others flickered and faded until they were gone.

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. Are you all-?”

Sir Malchior shot from his seat and removed his hand from the top of his head. Smoke rose from the patch of bare scalp and the ring of singed brown hair around it.

“You…are…hopeless!” He stormed out just as my father entered the room. Sir Malchior wagged a finger at him. “Your daughter. Your daughter!”

Father blinked, then turned his disappointed gaze on me. He winced when the front door slammed. I tried not to cringe. Hands behind his back, he stepped toward me. I swallowed, wishing my mouth wasn’t so dry. I willed my eyes to meet his, framed in the stone of his unsmiling face.

He calmly brushed his platinum hair behind his shoulder. “You were late this morning.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Father.”

“Come with me. I would like a word with you.”

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Another excerpt from "A Ranger's Tale"

Downstairs, in the tavern, we ate a hearty meal of roasted chicken, potatoes, and wild rice. We sat at a corner table, where the music and chatter all around us afforded a chaotic anonymity. Galadin wore a white shirt, with tight cuffs and generous sleeves, loosely laced at his collarbone. His tawny hair was clean, but unruly as ever.

He spoke above the tavern’s roar. “So, you’ve never seen Tilliya Island?”

I shook my head.

“I think it’s time I show you.”

“You don’t have a ship,” I shouted.

“I know where I can get one.”

“No stealing!”

Galadin drew an invisible “x” over his chest. “Cross my heart.”

When the waiter came by, I ordered Draeberry wine. Galadin raised an incredulous brow.

“Same for me,” he said, and the faery waiter flew back to the bar. He looked at me with a one-sided smile. “One glass of that, and I’ll be having my way with you.”

The waiter returned. I wrapped my fingers around the cold glass. “Oh? I doubt that.”

Five glasses later, we were dancing. A visiting gypsy band played. Their tambourines, bongo drums, and fiddles surrounded us with sultry melodies. The music animated our bodies, drifted around us in a seductive, rhythmic embrace. He clasped my body against his. We shimmied and swayed—so different than the ballroom dancing to which I was accustomed. His hearty laughter was as intoxicating as the wine. I never wanted this night to end. In his arms, I was free to be myself, to let down my guard and allow my heart to soar. Galadin had made me believe in myself, and if we never shared another night like this, I would always be grateful to him for that.

Among the crowd of strangers, no one cared that we danced like lovers. My breasts pressed into his chest. I gripped his back, and we swished as one being into the rising tempo. When my leg traveled up his thigh, he gripped my knee and I let my shoulders and head fall back away from him. He swung me in a half circle and then pulled me up again. Our faces were so close, his hot breath caressed my lips. I kissed him wildly, and he stumbled.

When I pulled back, he said, “Gawd, you’re beautiful. Jesh quit beatin around the bush and shtay with me tonight.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Sure. Let me help you to the room.”

Ta Da!

I've now pasted all chapters together--still need some fine tuning, but I've ended up with about 74,000 words of romantic fantasy. I can't believe I actually expanded it that much. Wow! My first book. How cool is that?

Mysti's Overused Words

Here is a short list of some of my most overused words. You tend to notice these things when you get down to the final edit of a 44-chapter novel. Thought I'd share the words I'm trying to eradicate:

1. managed to
2. swallowed hard
3. up
4. looked
5. walked
6. that
7. saw
8. felt
9. heard
10. Leading participial phrases, such as: "Turning my head, I saw Cali's face beside mine." (This one has both a leading participial phrase AND the word saw.)

None of these words are bad and I'm not saying they should never be used. I'm far from being a writing expert, but I like to share what I learn as I go. Any of these, used too often, can weaken the narrative and make it read as too repetitive or redundant.

Like "stand up", for instance. You don't need the "up". If you stand, of course, you're moving UP, so it's redundant to use them both together.

Please feel free to share your own overused words and tips to eliminate them to make for cleaner writing.

A line from "A Ranger's Tale"

I like this one. What can I say?

I parted my lips and caught his kiss. He smelled like the forest, like his leathers. I reveled in the heat of his breath, the feel of sandpaper on his scruffy chin, his hands grasping me like I was the only thing keeping him from floating away into the universe.

Another excerpt from "A Ranger's Tale"

Chapter 21

Caliphany

The forest surrounding the Howling Caves was much darker than the village. Full of shadow and mist, I thought it ominous. Encroaching storm clouds threatened to shut out what little light filtered through the thick canopy. The twisted penuke trees, draped in long, weeping vines and the lonely howls echoing from the caves brought sadness to my heart. It was as if they were telling me nature itself was out of balance here, and injustice had left its mark.

“You feel it too, don’t you?” Galadin whispered.

Unexpected tears clouded my eyes. “Yes. What happened here?”

Galadin sighed. “Pirates. The Goldtooth and others. They take what they want and leave the land barren. The people here have learned to protect themselves, but the wildlife isn’t so lucky. The bear are starving, since the plunderers kill off their prey. The poison on our arrows should dispatch them quickly.”

A little farther in, we found bear tracks. We concealed ourselves and followed the trail until we came upon a mother bear several feet away. Not far behind was her cub. Saggy skin hung over prominent bones. The little one cried pitifully to its mother, who couldn’t have had any milk to give. I raised my bow, took a deep breath, and shot the mother in her neck. The poisoned arrow worked quickly to put the weak mother out of her misery. Galadin did the same with the cub.

The wind picked up, and leaves blew all around us. We dropped concealment and continued through the forest. Light rain began to fall.

Galadin studied the sky. “I think the storm’s headed this way. We best turn back soon.”

We had reached a large rock outcropping, where the wide, dark mouth of a cave yawned before us. Growling echoed from inside. My skin crawled. We quickly concealed ourselves, but the huge bear that lurched out of the shadows either smelled or spotted us, and it charged our way. Galadin fired an arrow into the beast’s chest. The bear stumbled, but pulled itself up and charged again. Galadin dropped his concealment and ran backwards while he nocked another arrow, but he tripped over a root and fell on his backside. His last shot only managed to graze the bear’s shoulder, further enraging the animal.

Terror gripped my heart as the bear hurled itself toward Galadin. In one instant, I had an idea. There was no time for doubt. I nocked an arrow with a glowing hand. Searing fire erupted from my fingers as I aimed and shot. A fiery shaft flew from my bow, hitting the bear as it made a final leap toward Galadin. The bear blew apart, filling the air with singed fur and flesh.

Galadin lowered his arm from his eyes, shook bear parts out of his hair, and stared up at me. A grin spread across his face. He held out his hand, and I helped him up.

“You never fail to amaze me, Caliphany Aranea.”

I picked some bear flesh off his vest. “Call me Cali.”