A few times, I've been tempted to curl up into a ball and accept the jerk's abuse, but I've decided to shove him out the door, change the locks, and get on with my story. I've decided that it's OK to let it suck.
You see, I think the weak moments came about because I am still coming off the high of getting my second book, Serenya's Song, polished up and sent on her merry way. I'm still basking in the glow of wonderful reviews that attest to THAT book not sucking. It seems I forgot somewhere along the way that it took me a good year and approximately 287 drafts to ensure Serenya's Song didn't suck.
I certainly don't claim that any of my work is literary genius or worthy of Pulitzer Prizes or A Nobel Prize for Happy Endings, but by the time I finished with each of my first two books, I knew I'd done my best, that neither of them sucked. In fact, according to their readers, they were at the very least "pretty good."
Hearts In Exile is a work-in-progress, still in early draft stage. I have an outline, yet the plot is still working itself out. I'm still getting better acquainted with the characters, finding their voices along the way, discovering their quirks, faults, and strengths. And the quality is going to suck for a while, until I get all the major stuff ironed out, like a cohesive storyline & character roles.
Passive voice is running rampant, with enough "was"s, "were"s, and "had"s to choke a horse. Characters are either behaving like drama queens or are as one-dimensional as a napkin. My critique partners are slowly going bald as they work through each chapter. Lindsey, I'm certain, will be completely without eyebrows by the time we're finished.
Yet, I will trudge on, because I look back now on when I first started this series in 2009 and remember all the blood, sweat, and tears I shed on behalf of these stories.
Self-Doubt smacks on the patio door glass and yells: You don't have another book in you!
I yell back, "Watch me!" and shut the blinds, because I really don't want that jerk watching me at all.
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Q&A time: In what areas to YOU need to kick Self-Doubt to the curb?
Thanks, Mysti! I REALLY needed this reminder. It's funny, I never think twice about the dozens of rough drafts I go through for flash fiction or for the little articles I write for my husband--they're just part of the creation process--BUT working on a book is an entirely different ball game. I have no perspective whatsoever and I keep giving up. That said though, I AM working on the rough draft of a novel now and it is going pretty well, especially when I run across reminders like these! Thanks again. :)
ReplyDeleteWhoever thinks writing isn't work has never really done it with any serious intention! That's why all this book pirating thing is so annoying!!! Keep on keeping on, Von!
DeleteMysti, you go girl. Don't let self doubt get to you. We all have days when we look at our WIP and scratch our heads over why we made a character do this, or say that. :)
ReplyDeleteAmen! I usually wonder what the heck I was thinking a few times over on a story. :)
DeleteHA! I'll just collect all my plucked eyebrows in a pile and tape them back on if I need to. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. I break out in hives every time I think about writing book two in my series, but I need to get over that self-doubt and let my brain take me on a journey. But it's so hard!
Ha! Bet you're surprised I remembered that article of yours :)
DeleteAnd yes, it's very hard to get over those mental hurdles. Once you make yourself start and stay focused, it's easier. It's helped that I cleaned up my writing space and have a few hours each week to work now that school's back in session.
Isn't it odd how Self-Doubt likes to hit each of us in different ways?
ReplyDeleteWhen I write, I don't feel much doubt about the actual words on the page (self-deluded, maybe, but doubt? Never!) Where I get hit is whether or not I can keep the plot twists and developments going long enough to make a story, and of course whether or not I will ever get published! That is a big doubt gnawing at me right now.
Glad you managed to show Self-Doubt the door! You are an inspiration to us all.
Aww, thanks Ian. I could say the same about all of you!
DeleteYou should all be like me. I always think my first draft stuff is genius! And then I'm proved wrong. Very, very wrong.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm an idea execution type of gal. As long as people love the idea, I know the execution can be worked on. And no, a first draft CAN'T be perfect. No matter how hard you try.
And dang, Mysti, Hearts in Exile looks pretty darn good to me so far ;)
Thanks, Stef! With you ensuring my characters emote properly, I can't go wrong! Love having you as a critique partner. Hoping I pick up my critique pace really soon.
DeleteThanks Mysti for that excellent advice and inspiration. I think sometimes that's why I haven't finished my book. Every time I go back and read it, I think it sucks so bad that I stop and try to edit. I know how wrong that is, but can't seem to help myself. Maybe your inspiration here will help me also say, "It's okay if you suck now!" then maybe I can at least finish the first draft!
ReplyDeleteExactly, Debbie! You might go through 287 drafts like me, but once you get that first draft done (no matter how sucky it is), it's easier to see where you need to fix things. Keep at it!!
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