Here at Tone It Down Inc., we'll fade to black all the sex scenes, make sure your heroine does NOT investigate that noise in the basement, and we'll kill off that teenage vampire before he falls in love with the naive schoolgirl.
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Prudes and other bigoted killjoys need not apply. :)
ReplyDeleteYou see, Jack, prudes and killjoys don't need the services of Tone It Down. We save our time for those whacko writers who dare write anything potentially offensive.
DeleteTone It Down makes a perfect gift too. I just sent one to Stephen King, Ann Rice and Dean Koontz. Now maybe someone will look at my writing.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone needs to tone things down, it's those three. You're so benevolent, Tom! :)
DeleteHahahahah, good one!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Diane! It's a service no author should be without. :)
DeleteI quite enjoyed this :)
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you! Don't forget to get your free consultation. You can't have characters running amok all over the place.
DeleteAre there package deals or military discounts? I'm working on a budget here guys!
ReplyDeleteWell, you do get that free consultation. I've heard it's only three words...either "Tone it down" or the more Cajun version of "Simmah down nah."
DeleteLove this ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dear. Should you ever need their services, I've got a few coupons :)
DeleteHonestly, this post is not meant to be offensive. I simply needed a creative outlet for my recent frustrations with criticisms toward my writing. I'd rather express myself in humor than in bitterness.
Thanks to everyone who's supported and enjoyed my writing and those who've given me such constructive feedback over the years! It's for and because of you that I keep building the world of Tallenmere. And I hope to continue it for a long while to come! ~Mysti