Well, screw depression. I've suffered from it for too long, and I HATE depression. There. I said it. Depression sucks the holy living life right out of me. It's such a freaking selfish disease. It imprisons me in this "woe is me" mode that doesn't allow me to see the big picture and all the good people and things in my life. It keeps me from any potential success by telling me I'll fail if I try.
Here's a visual of what depression feels like, if you've never experienced it:
Once it arrives, it grabs hold and digs in like barbed wire, unwilling to let me out of its dire outlook. The bouts are fewer and less severe than before I began treatment, but it still pops up from time to time.
And you know what?
Darn right, depression. I have kids, house, and husband to take care of and so many things to write that I don't have time to mope around and be bummed out by your little impromptu visits. So, I'm setting goals to take better care of myself, and I'm writing them here so that I can feel more accountable. From henceforth, I shall try to...
1. Exercise more.
2. Eat better.
3. Sleep better.
4. Stay focused on fewer tasks at a time.
5. Narrow down commitments to what really needs attention or what I really want to achieve. This includes slowly acquiring part-time PAYING work in the hopes that I'll get back into the working world now that my kids are all in school.
6. Say "no" more often.
7. Less useless browsing online. If I don't have an immediate reason to be surfing, then I need to get my butt up and do something productive.
8. Keep things clean around here, so it's not piled up and overwhelming me. This includes delegating more tasks more consistently to husband and kids.
9. Declutter. If I don't love or need it, then out it goes. This includes my email inbox, which I've managed to whittle down from >15,000 messages to < 5,000 in the last two days.
10. Better time management. This means keeping better track of events/due dates by utilizing notes, my smart phone calendar/alarm, and asking others to remind me of things.
Whether I accomplish said goals is yet to be seen, but having a written plan is a good way to start any endeavor. All of you reading this are allowed to slap me back onto track when you see me breaking any of these goals.
Until next time, here's to a healthier me and new successes just around the corner. ~Mysti
As a fellow sufferer I say Amen to that Mysti. Non sufferers simply never comprehend just how debilitating depression is.
ReplyDeleteJack Eason
Amen, Mysti -- Depression sucks (all the life out of me)
ReplyDeleteJust reading your list wore me down.
The declutter stood out -- a must do for me - but I daily use the writing as an excuse to procrastinate
I'm glad I'm not the only one with a gazillion email messages - mostly junk, mostly unread - many I dread deleting because I might want to re-read them some day, or search for a detail I'm sure they contain...
Peace /judy
I'm sending a bucket full of positive thoughts your way, Mysti!
ReplyDeleteI do my darnedest to keep depression away. It ain't easy being deaf and stuck in a wheelchair, but so far, I've kept it at bay. I know once it invades your life, it's hard to get free from. I do have days of feeling extremely sorry for myself, but it doesn't last.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the desire to write something everyday, but I get caught up in Facebook and clicking links to blogs of others. Mysti draws me in almost every time. Bad girl! lol
Now, I think I'll clean this messy desk.