Friday, April 25, 2014

V is for Victim by Tara Fox Hall



Welcome to Unwritten's part of the worldwide A-Z Blog Challenge!! Every day in April (except Sundays), we'll have a new post related to the letters of the alphabet from A-Z. Our theme here on Unwritten is "I Will Survive". I hope these stories will inspire and uplift you. Comments are VERY appreciated!




V is for Victim
by
Tara Fox Hall

I have been a victim. Credit card theft, bullying, stalking, low self esteem, jealousy, dysfunctional family dynamics, even anxiety and extreme fear of social situations. But this post is not about me. It’s about everyone, because everyone in his or her lives at one time or another is a victim.

None of us set out to be victims. As children, we are born with a terrific kind of innocent yet unbridled sense of power. We can do anything at 5 years old: be a ballerina, a fireman, a police officer, an artist, a football star, even a famous supermodel. Our sense of personal limitations knows no bounds.  We are going to do GREAT THINGS not only in the future, but this very day. Then sometime early in grade school, we discover that we really CAN’T do everything we think we can. If we’re well adjusted, we simply keep trying until we find something we excel at, and take pride in that ability. If we aren’t—like moi—our once carefree spirits sink like a lead balloon, and we need some therapy and training to become well adjusted enough to cope, then to thrive.

Life isn’t kind; it’s a hard journey. The old adage that anything worth getting is pretty damn hard to get is very true. There have been stories all month on this AWESOME blog called Unwritten¾Props, Mysti! J¾about overcoming various forms of adversity, be they disease, bad family situations, mental health, or environmental factors from Internet trolls to bad luck to financial hardship.  All these wonderful people at one time or another were victims; these are their stories of fighting back, of slaying the dragon after a long and arduous battle, and standing atop its corpse, triumphant against the background of the setting sun. Everyone reading this probably has a favorite tale from their own personal experience about overcoming their own personal monster, if not horde of monsters. Sometimes the evil energies that beset us seem to attack one after another, with no respite. But fighting them off is just the beginning, because those battles we wage change us, even if we win. Deep down inside, part of us remains the victim, even standing atop that stinking corpse.

Some would argue that what we carry away from a battle is a good thing. It reminds us that we can face adversity and win. Others would say that there is an epilogue to the battle, which involves a process of letting go of all of it, so we can move on with our lives not hauling any emotional baggage.  I’m not going to argue for either of those points. Whichever works for you¾maybe a mixture of both¾is likely the best path.   My Sandman author Neil Gaiman said so eloquently in one of his collections, “It is sometimes a mistake to climb. It is always a mistake never even to make the attempt <because you are afraid of falling>.”  Bette Midler said it even better in her song, The Rose, an ode to those living in past pain, that they might not close themselves off to new joys: only “two cents” is to not let the residue of fear that remains behind inhibit in a negative way.  As


It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give,
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live.



It’s very easy, coming off a bender of battles, to close yourself off and decide its much safer not to take chances on people or new situations. It’s very easy to give up on love, when your heart is badly broken. Fresh wounds lead to a hunkering-down-safe-mode by way of rationality. It’s a healthy response to learned fear. Just don’t stay there, once the danger is passed.  Life is a journey that should be enjoyed, not just survived. Live each day as if this is all there is. And never forget you are capable of GREAT THINGS.

****

Tara Fox Hall’s writing credits include nonfiction, horror, suspense, action-adventure, erotica, and contemporary and historical paranormal romance. She is the author of the paranormal fantasy Lash series and the paranormal romantic drama Promise Me series. Tara divides her free time unequally between writing novels and short stories, chainsawing firewood, caring for stray animals, sewing cat and dog beds for donation to animal shelters, and target practice.


AUTHOR LINKS:


Facebook Page:



17 comments:

  1. Thanks for having me today at Unwritten, Mysti! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Enjoyed the blog. And I love the words to Rose. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Enjoyed the blog and thought the lyrics to the song went perfect. Great job. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Brenda :) I've always loved that song, too!

      Delete
  4. Great post, Tara! So glad you didn't give up. You have so much to say and give to the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Nancy :) That is so sweet! It surprises me how close I came to just giving up and not publishing. But I also came close to not moving to the country, getting dogs, learning to shoot, learning to sew, and getting married. I'm very glad of my life, and happy to be here at this place and time :)

      Delete
  5. Tara, I agree we've all been a victim in one way or another. Life is most definitely not fair, and we have to draw on our inner strengths to overcome. I truly believe that people who cross our paths in life can help or hinder by their actions. Thank God for good friends and a supportive family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Leona. Good friends and family make all the difference! But the kindness of total strangers is also a blessing. You never know who is going to give you that extra little push that makes you accomplish something wonderful :) Have a FAB weekend!

      Delete
  6. A line from the movie SuckerPunch seems fitting here, "Remember, if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very true, John. Its important to stand up for what you believe in (not that I have to reiterate this to you, as you never have a problem with that) :) Funny how its always the things that are hardest to stand for that mean the most. Keep Strong :)

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Hi Joyce, thanks for the comment :) When I wrote this, I initially thought it was okay, then made changes and thought "hey, its one of my GREAT THINGS!" Then I went back to thinking it was okay. I soak up every little comment of praise like a sponge, lol. Have a great weekend!

      Delete
  8. Wonderfully composed - the message one I personally relate to, being one of many - as you noted -- who've been a victim in one way or another.

    And to this (below) I say "Amen"
    "Life is a journey that should be enjoyed, not just survived. "

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Judy! :) I agree completely. There are times in life where all we can do is survive from one day to the next. Its wonderful to get back to feeling like we can truly enjoy our lives again. Have a FAB weekend!

      Delete
  9. So well said! I found out at the tender age of 7 that I would never be a ballerina. But, I've come to be a ballerina in my mind. :-) I feel graceful, light, as if I could fly, if only for a few fleeting moments. I am happy. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I took dance when I was young and enjoyed it very much. But alas, I too will not be a ballerina, Bree. But like you, I'm also light of foot from happiness. Have a wonderful day!

      Delete

***NOTICE*** Thanks to a spam bot infestation, every comment must now be subjected to a full-body search. If you pass, you can skip the anal probing...maybe.