Monday, May 6, 2013

Call Me MAYbe Flash Fiction #4: The Angry Box by M. A. Abraham



Welcome to the Call Me MAYbe Flash Fiction Challenge!!
All stories begin with "The phone rang" and are no more than 1,000 words. Deadline to submit is May 31. For full contest rules and prize list, visit this link: http://mystiparker.blogspot.com/2013/04/next-month-call-me-maybe-flash-fiction.html







#4: The Angry Box
by
M.A. Abraham


The phone rang causing the Battle Bird to give a squawk of surprised irritation as he dropped the tiny box it had been holding in its claw as it flew over Daroth’s lands.  The phone continued to ring as it plummeted from the sky, through the foliage of the trees below to land not twenty feet from Branith.  It continued to ring until he picked up the tiny metal device then stopped and Branith looked upwards to watch the delivery bird fly out of sight.   Well, if nothing else that explained how it got there, but what was it?

“Now what?”  Branith wondered as he examined the object.

Branith had no use for Battle Birds personally his talents ran in different directions.  Right now he was supposed to be headed to meet a pretty Elven female who had been sending him silent messages for the last month.  Blond, green eyes, with a mouth made to kiss.  She haunted his dreams, or would if the boxy looking thing didn’t shut-up.

Branith noticed the seam where the phone folded and flipped it open by accident.  The sound of an young irate female came out of the object.  Now that was a bit of a surprise.

“About time you answered this blasted contraption.  Where have you been?”  We were supposed to have met over an hour ago.  If I find you have been with another woman I will kill you.”

“What are you talking about?”  Branith wondered aloud.  He truly had no idea what this was all about.

“Don’t you pretend you have no idea what I am talking about, this was your idea, not mine.”  The voice continued.

Branith frowned.  It didn’t sound like the girl he was supposed to be meeting with.  He was quickly beginning to think someone was trying to play games with him.  Well, he would just have to see about that.

“I was given the impression you didn’t want to play.”

“Are you out of your mind?”  The voice screamed.  “You get over here right now.”

“No can do.  The message I got was that you had other more important matters needing your attention.  So, I do too now.  Nice talking to you.”

“Don’t you dare hang up on me.”  The voice screeched through the box.

“Hang up?  Hang up what?”  Branith sounded bewildered.  What was he supposed to put away, and where?

“Don’t you start,” the voice came back.

“Start what?”  Branith asked, as he rolled his eyes.  He was frightening himself.  He was beginning so sound like Sevil.

“You are trying to make me believe you don’t know who you are talking to so I think I have lost my mind.”  The voice returned.

“Can you?”  Branith asked.

“Cut that out or I swear I will make you wish you were never born.”  The voice threatened.

“Wow are you in a mood.”  Branith exclaimed.  “Someone put lemons in your oatmeal this morning instead of milk and forget the honey?”

A string of explicit obscenities followed in the wake of Branith’s remark that made his eyes grow round as he stared at the hand held device while he listed.  When it seemed that whoever was talking was finished Branith asked.

“Is any of that anatomically possible?  Do you mind repeating it all so I can take notes?”

A muffled screech preluded another string of obscenities.  Branith got the feeling he was being insulted.

“Well, if you are going to be like that, forget I asked.  I know when I am not welcome.  I can take a hint.”

“Hint?  What do you think this is all about?  You were supposed to be here already, you flake.  You are standing me up and haven’t got the intestinal fortitude to tell me directly.”  The voice snarled.

“I am not late for my meeting and I resent you trying to tell me differently.  I know what time I said I would be there.  You obviously have your times mixed up with something else you needed to do and forgot what it was.  Happens all the time.  I can live with that, why can’t you?”

“I want you here in ten minutes.”  The voice on the other end of the phone snapped before cutting the connection.

Branith just looked at the box and whistled.  “Wow, that is one I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley without Marious or Gabriel around to guard my back.”

Sin'dorei Picture by Byron007 
Ten minutes later he was still studying the device in his hand as he continued in the direction where he was to meet his friend.  The phone rang again and he gave a resigned sigh.  Did he want to hear what the voice was going to say this time?  No, but he had the feeling he was going to do it anyway.  He opened the top after the eighth ring and the same voice snapped out at him.

“Your ten minutes are up, where are you?”

“I am walking in the forest, where are you?”  Branith asked.

“What?  Are you out of your mind?  What forest?”  The voice sounded in disbelief.

“The forest all around me.  Hear the birds?  It is beautiful.”  Branith admitted with a satisfied grin.  The voice at the other end didn’t sound so hostile this time.

“It is snowing, what is so great about it?”  The voice snipped.

“Snowing?  It is a beautiful spring day.”  Branith replied with a chirpy tone.

“You aren’t coming are you?”  The voice at the other end sounded resigned.

“I told you, I have a meeting and here she comes now.”  Branith replied as he waved to the Elven girl he had arranged to meet with earlier.

Branith watched as the girl beamed at him and waved back as she called out,  “I was scared I missed you, so sorry I am late, I needed to gather a few herbs and it took longer than I thought it would.  What do you have there?”

“This?”  Branith answered as he tossed it aside.  “Just an angry box.”

****

M.A. Abraham lives in a rural area of Canada, where she creates her Elven stories and is ruled by her sidekick, Snoop.  She is attempting to control the Elves around her, but they are a bunch of party animals.  Diabolically working to retake control of her life she is busy trying to marry the little troublemakers off and settle them in happy family units.




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10 comments:

  1. LOVE IT!!!!
    Oh that was so much fun to read :)

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  2. This is a perfect sample of the awesome writing from M.A. Love the humour, this really cracked me up :D

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  3. Loved it really funny. A phone.??? LOL Cannot wait for this book sounds like it is full of surprises.

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    1. Thanks for coming Fran, and this is not part of one of the books. So sorry.

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  4. This was great :) So hilarious too :) Happy Writing and great job :)

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    1. Thanks for the comment Leila, glad you enjoyed the Elves.

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  5. WOW that just made me CTFU :D Love him. So hilarious

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