Friday, April 13, 2012

L is for...Lettuce by Kopi Soh

Welcome to Unwritten's little corner of the the A-Z Blogging Challenge! If you want to see the whole lineup, click HERE!

This thought-provoking post by Kopi Soh addresses a trend I think has permeated our modern culture. How many times a day do we hear of parents suing McDonald's because they're "tempting" their kids with Happy Meal toys? We even hear stories of criminals taking their victims to court for defending themselves. Read today's post and leave your own comments about the subject!

L is for...Lettuce

"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you 
don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not 
doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or 
less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have 
problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can 
love, and the situation will change" ~
Thich Nhat Hanh

Only when we stop blaming others, that we are able to advance forward and take back control of our lives. It is about time we all get rid of our "victim" mentality and accept that perhaps our life sucks because of the choices that we make. I am not saying life is always fair, it is not, sometimes we are dealt a bad hand, thrown a curve ball when we least expect it but it STILL comes down to how we choose to handle it.

Perhaps it might be a tad bit naïve of me to believe and think a situation will change if only we show we understand, nevertheless it never hurts to try.


My online persona KopiSoh (Coffee Lady) was created when my blog evolved. A nickname given to me by my readers when they started hanging out at my blog as if it were an actual coffee place.

I have counseled people from all walks of life, background and ethnicity. Volunteered in senior centers, aided Somalians in Canada and have gone through hospice training. Currently, am working for the Sexual Assault Response Team. Providing crisis counseling & advocacy for survivors of sexual assault. To relief stress I write, at present am involved in a scriptwriting project and working on my second book.
Buy it HERE!

My first ebook “Oh, I Thought I Was The Only One” was published on February 7th 2012. 

You can find us on Facebook :
“Likes” are most welcome!! Website:
Hardcopy now available on CreateSpace:


  1. I agree that we can only move forward when we take full responsibility for ourselves. Nevertheless, some situations or people can be beyond our comprehension.

    1. Indeed, Penang Girl, we may not comprehend other's actions but what's more important is comprehending our own reactions and actions :D

  2. Even when dealing with characters in my writing, these are important words to remember. They allow me to work both sides of that "victim" status.

    AND, I have read many thoughts of Thich Nhat Hanh and appreciate his perspective.

    1. Yes Judysnwnotes, I do like Thich's persective on most things :D

      I have yet to write any fiction but it sounds interesting when you talked about "dealing with characters", perhaps might give it a shot too one of these days.

  3. The blame game only makes us look like a grouch. I'm trying to visit all the A-Z Challenge Blogs this month from

    1. Very true indeed Sharkbytes, and happy hopping :D
      Thanks for your comment.

  4. Sadly, litigation lawyers make too much money out of this culture for it to be dislodged easily. It would be nice to see people start once more to take responsibility for their actions.

    In my childhood, if I did something stupid and hurt myself, my parents would show little sympathy. "You only have yourself to blame." Nowadays, parents are more likely to look for someone to sue for failing to protect their precious kiddie from themselves.

    1. Yup I agree Botanist, perhaps parents these days are ridden with guilt, not wanting to entertain the possibility that in their pursuit to give their kids "what they themselves never had while growing up" i.e., material things, they end up not being around to properly raised their kids to become responsible people. Therefore might be easier to blame others then to look to themselves.

      Once again it all comes down to choices.

      Thank you kindly for your comment :D

  5. We always put a blame on others wheb things happen. Gotto stop doing that and take responsibilities for our action.

  6. Most definitely cleffairy!! Thanks for reading my post and leaving a comment here :D

  7. Interesting info about you Kopi Soh, and you're right, blaming other people won't get you anywhere. :)

  8. If people took responsibility for their actions and owned up to their mistakes, it would be a better world. Great post, Kopi.

    1. Thank you Tara Fox Hall, indeed we do whatever we can to make this world better don't we :D


***NOTICE*** Thanks to a spam bot infestation, every comment must now be subjected to a full-body search. If you pass, you can skip the anal probing...maybe.